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This is a re-post from something I wrote on a different website. It deals with a lot of the same themes as my post Compersion & First Experiences with Three (link below). Yes, I am the original author.

“Free love? As if love is anything but free! Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love. Man has subdued bodies, but all the power on earth has been unable to subdue love. Man has conquered whole nations, but all his armies could not conquer love. Man has chained and fettered the spirit, but he has been utterly helpless before love. High on a throne, with all the splendor and pomp his gold can command, man is yet poor and desolate, if love passes him by. And if it stays, the poorest hovel is radiant with warmth, with life and color. Thus love has the magic power to make of a beggar a king. Yes, love is free; it can dwell in no other atmosphere. In freedom it gives itself unreservedly, abundantly, completely. All the laws on the statutes, all the courts in the universe, cannot tear it from the soil, once love has taken root.”
-Emma Goldman

People like to own other people. People like to pretend that their insecurities give them the right to tell someone else what to do. It’s true across the board, whether it’s the government or your lover.

And I’m not one to say that my lifestyle is better than anyone else’s. I just ask of every human being on the planet to respect my right to make my own decisions about what’s best for myself.

I know what my mom would say. She’d drop words like “trust” and “commitment” and the real cincher: “real relationship.” And if I could spit out the words I’d tell her that J and I are going to take care of each other, with trust and commitment, until we’re ninety-fucking-four years old and beyond. How’s that for a real relationship?

The reality of my real relationship is that when I watch J kiss another beautiful woman my heart melts. I love seeing the happiness on both their faces, because happy people make me happy, and because knowing that he looks like that when he kisses me too is so special. The reality of my real relationship is that we can be honest enough with ourselves and each other to grow together. Curling up on a blanket to watch a movie with a beautiful woman between us seems like a simple act, or one motivated by lust. But it takes more honesty, trust, and simple love than most people have the ability to achieve.

It seems to me that if you can be whole and complete yourself, someone will love you. Everyone’s like a puzzle piece, of course, with bays to fill and peninsulas to fill with, but if you acknowledge that you are in yourself a beautiful little puzzle piece, and you can see how bright your colors are, others will too. Sometimes puzzles are complete with two. Beautiful. But I’m starting to see how big this puzzle can be…