In light of my recent mini-bout of depression, J has given me a list of self-improvement chores to do every day to keep myself busy. I’m to write a detailed log to prove that I did them and hand them in like homework every week, which is a good idea because he’s given me orders before that I promptly forgot.

I will grumble and yell and kvetch and cuss him out until the ends of the earth, but really I just feel extra special loved. It’s not even just a sexual thing. Not that I need someone to tell me what to do– though I am not a classic troublemaker I will resist authority until I’m blue in the face– but I like being his, I like improving for him when I usually can’t make myself do it for me, I like that he’ll be checking over my reports, I like feeling owned. It’s special because I wouldn’t do it for anyone else. Secretly, I’m glad I pushed him until he decided to be cruel to me. I don’t upset him on purpose, because it breaks my heart, but I can’t say I’m sad that I did.

Currently the list of chores is (partially for my own reference):

  • 10 sit ups, 10 push ups before leaving the house
  • Jogging to the far end of the street (Puppy goes for a walk, ugh)
  • Playing guitar for an hour (I’m not sure why he picked guitar; I forgot he even knew I played)
  • Reading for 2 hours (He specified classic literature, I think to keep me off the computer, but I’m gonna ignore him and read science books)
  • Writing for at least 2 hours if I have the time (I usually spend 8+ hours a day writing in some form, but maybe not anymore with all these new rules)
  • another 5 sit ups and 5 push ups before bed

I challenged him to increase the requirements because I can do many more sit ups than 10. Other than that, though, I’m gonna keep my mouth shut because I run like a penguin and I’m dismal at push ups. Overall, the entire affair should take at least 4 hours out of my day, which is welcome because Puppy ain’t got a job so she might as well do something useful. Motherfucker.

Sucks to be subbie!

I already did the exercise portion for today and now I can’t walk down the stairs. Yes, I’m blessedly thin and young and gorgeous (duh lol) but I am dismally out of shape. Sigh.