People are wary about Internet dating. I can see why– it seems forced, like you’re reducing yourself to a collection of statistics up for auction. Or others worry that everybody looking for love on the internet are all pathetic creepers. But in my opinion, if you go about it the right way, it can be a really good tool for everything from light conversation partners to life partners.
I first joined a dating site as a joke. I was bored, and I decided I was going to tell people I was a midget archaeologist with a foot fetish to have a good laugh at the people who tried to contact me. But then I thought, why not? Why not take the chance that I could meet somebody really cool that I wouldn’t have met otherwise? So I filled out my profile with my actual information and let it be.
Within just a week or so of having my profile active, some guy messaged me telling me that he went to the same college as me. We got to talking about the horrendous weather. I thought he was maybe a little bland, but really nice.
Turns out, me and that guy are going to spend the rest of our lives together.
My point is, don’t underestimate all the potential partners in cyberspace. It’s worked for J multiple times (yeah, I’m not special 😛 ). Yes, there are a lot of creepers, just like in real life, but they are easy to avoid.
- Find people near you. You have a much higher chance of beginning any sort of relationship with someone who is geographically convenient than someone who is really cool but lives in Madagascar. Maybe others feel differently about this, but I don’t think I could deal with having a partner that I didn’t see at least occasionally.
- Read their profile before you message them. Bringing up something that you read proves that you like what you know of them, not just their sexy pictures.
- Don’t be too cautious. You have nothing to lose. Stand out a little bit and show everyone what makes you unique.
- Don’t force it. If somebody doesn’t seem enthused about talking to you, back out quietly. There’s a whole internet out there. No need to take it personally, because you’ll find better luck somewhere else.
- Don’t try to lie or inflate your achievements. If it works in landing you someone, they’ll find out soon enough that you’re full of shit. There will always be someone who will love you for who you are, if you give them the chance to.
- Don’t give out your personal info. Maybe this sounds kind of obvious, but giving a stranger your phone number or your address or even your last name is asking for trouble. Trusting someone takes time.
- Be relatively specific about what you want in a partner, a friend, or a relationship dynamic. You don’t need to give a whole checklist, but listing a few requirements and deal-breakers in a way that isn’t too off-putting or scary will narrow down the amount of people who contact you that you don’t want to talk to.