Tags

,

Do you believe that your owner (or someone else significant to you) completes you, or that you are a complete person on your own? Does it matter to you if the person you serve considers himself/herself complete as a person, or whether they are looking outwardly to others for completeness? (from Submissive Journal Prompts)

I have always thought of myself as a complete person separate from my significant other– even though I do have a preference for being in a relationship over being alone, my personal self-image is not involved. This notion of dependence on a romantic partner always seemed ridiculous to me, but in the BDSM world such a myth might have its uses.

That said, J does complete me marvelously. The longer we’re together, the more I find myself relying on him, considering him an extension of a limb or something else dependable and indispensable. For example, his optimism counters my depression, and while I’m a people-pleaser, he is never afraid to piss somebody off if they deserve it. Though I was a complete person to begin with, I think now that I’ve known J I couldn’t be complete again on my own.

When in the market for a dom and/or a lover, I will always prefer someone who doesn’t need me, but that’s just personal preference. I like independence, and I like other people who like independence too. But from a BDSM perspective, I think it would make me happy to “complete” my dom by providing things he needs in life: companionship, sexual release, even chores and tasks.