Is polyamory a natural orientation? I’m not sure. Though I would say that I have in some way been genderqueer and/or bisexual my entire life, I wouldn’t say I was born polyamorous. I think I have traits (like adventurousness, nontraditionalism, lack of jealousy, and a talent at communication) that make the transition to polyamory almost easy and natural, but I don’t think of it the same way I think of my pansexuality etc.
But others would disagree. I was talking to E recently about the nature of our relationship, and she described herself as “not monogamous.” As a whole. As if it was an orientation like homosexual or heterosexual, and not just a legitimate relationship option. As another example, my friend L mentioned once, when he was still identifying as bisexual, that he was almost exclusively attracted to couples. Not just two beautiful people who happen to be together, but also their individual relationship dynamic and their love for one another. I thought he was weird until F described the same thing.
What do you guys think? Is monogamy (or the lack thereof) an orientation, or just a preference or tendency? I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but I’d like to hear what you think.
- Compersion, and First Experiences with Three (slutlyfe.wordpress.com)
- Being Outed Update & Other Things (slutlyfe.wordpress.com)
- Because He Asked (slutlyfe.wordpress.com)
- What makes a relationship? (therealladyinredink.wordpress.com)
- Being Outed (slutlyfe.wordpress.com)
- Monogamy’s got a lot going for it | Clarisse Thorn (guardian.co.uk)
- Beyond Polyamory (psychologytoday.com)
- In Praise of Monogamy (no you didn’t misread) (hahayourefunny.wordpress.com)
- Love Like an Ocean: Diving Deep into Polyamory (blogher.com)
- How To Have More Than One Lover (hellobeautiful.com)