A few days ago I wrote that I was worried that J’s mom was going to think I was nuts or a slut, after he came out to her about my bisexuality and our polyamory. Upon first seeing her, I perceived that she regarded me for much longer than normal, but that may have just been paranoia. She might have just been checking out my outlandish hat. She’s an accepting woman in general, and she already likes me a lot, so I probably shouldn’t have worried.
But while visiting, I had a great time! Besides doing some other great stuff unrelated to the topics I’m writing about on this blog, I got to meet J’s transgender former boyfriend, F. He was more peppy and touchy-feely than I expected (judging from his punked-out pictures), but we got along great and I had a really fun time with him. There was a moment when I left them alone and came back to find them linking arms and got kind of jealous, but J and I talked it out and it wasn’t a big deal. I was just feeling a little insecure because I wasn’t sure how their breakup had been left, but I realized that it was silly and with some reassurance from J, I got over it. It was really cute to watch them together because they had a BDSM dynamic opposite the one that J and I have, and once I looked for it I could definitely tell. There was one point where J was sitting on the ground and F standing next to him, and when F started rubbing his head J collapsed against his knee. None of this helped me keep my major crush on F in my pants. Unfortunately, F is trying not to get mixed up with couples anymore, so any hopes of seeing them in action were dashed. 🙂 Also, I have found that after knowing F and some other transgender people, I always think about pronouns before using them. Even when referring to my mother, my boyfriend, and other people of traditional gender identity. I bet they wonder why I’ve suddenly developed a stutter. 😛 Continue reading