In the BDSM-ridden innards of the internet, subspace (a near-hypnotized mental state that can be reached by the submissive partner during or after BDSM scenes) is a common topic. People talk about it like a drug or a mystical rite of passage– “Have you ever been in subspace? What was it like?”
My own experience with subspace is pretty subtle. Granted, J and I do not engage in exceptionally strenuous or intense BDSM, so there may be lots of territory left to explore.
In vanilla life (or “topspace”), J and I don’t relate to each other like most couples do. Instead of being lovey-dovey or even just nice, we opt for a more playful and tomboyish routine of harmless teasing. With anybody else, I’d be a little offended, but we’re so connected that we have the ability to roll with anything the other can dish out. I’ve always been somebody to offer a noogie instead of a hug. But after I’ve been subjugated into subspace, I start feeling really needy and sensitive. After some D/s sex, I can’t handle the playful jabs at all, and I’ve cried more than once over things that would otherwise just make me roll my eyes. Continue reading